transformation

Sometimes my heart is flooded whit pain
So harsh that i barely can keep it in
I'm fighting it by transforming it
Into pure anger you would not believe it
It consumes me day by day flood by flood
This society fuels my anger lie by lie crush by crush
My heart collides whit my personality
This is just natures stupidity
Or is this the cause of society
Strange things calm my anger and spirit
From fueling my anger all the way to adrenaline
Small things build up my spirit
But combined they are like amfetamine
And i'm wondering why i never change
My core stays the same while the surroundings change
Completing my lines while gazing at stars
Wondering why i'm so cold and harsh....

Stars

I only have one life and i wasted most of it
Not one cloud in the sky......why do stars calm my spirit
I started my journey that will take me to them
They where some moments when i felt close to them
But i knew that it wasen't the right moment
I feel a rush when i get close to them
That would scare off anyone who would feel it
I'm looking for my saving star,but shes fading i feel it....

fighting whit my parents and shit
knowing that my life will turn out shit
not trusting myself
ore anybody else
my dreams are ruined and then some
wondering if i ever have a son
falling in love to easily
wondering how wrong i could be
my life is so fucked up i can't believe it
i'm going down i can feel it
suicidel...i've tried it
but i could not make it
i'm a coward i know it
please don't consider it
sometimes i wish i could just vanish
but that's way hard to accomplish
i wish i would be dead
but that's not a threat
what is more serious is that
i'm a THREAT
i'm getin' could
like my soul is sould
i'm getin' confused by my own lines
like my heart has it's own life
it doesen't care about ratio ore pain
it just wants love in my vane
i don't know if i'm ready for death
but i feel it closer then a breath
i'm sick and tired of all this shit
i just want to get out of this
i don't care about love and all that shit
i just want to get over this shit
i just want to seize to exist

still......

Smokin' like usual feeling unusual
My life speeds up while i'm in neutral
Starting to realize dreams aren't get realized
I'm tryin' to keep it true but thats hard to take trough
But how could i keep it true when my dreams aren't gettin' true
That's what i realized in the start of my fucked up life
I'm 20 know whit one tattoo
I want to get more before i'm 22
My parents don't know it and they wouldn't agree
Because they raised me right,wel i not agree
My father wasn't there and my mom was too busy
So i went out got beatin up by bullies
Wel that's what ur gettin raisin' up in da streets
Streets gave me love trying to teach me
Guess they did wel considering where i'l be
Enjoyed being a thug,having a family
But my dreams say i should act differently
I've spent so much time just spreading  my knowledge
And now the world pushes me to a ledge
To see if i swim ore sink and i'm right on the edge
And i start to realize that i might not have the edge......

I'm feeling down and depressed
like death will be my one and only succese
many people lived with succese
but not many died with succese
we need to live for the moment
and die for a cause
otherwise our existence is false
i'm rhyming my pain because shits hard to take
from a life that gives u just sorrow and pain
love is ment to save us
i dissagree because love puts u in phases like me
fake people fill the world like a disease
God make me the antidote so i can stop this frenzi
fake people dissrespecting the true
we're loosing the battle i know this is crued
ghetto still alive
but were dying in it
and we still don't have no one to tell it
i'm completing my line so fuck of i've done it!!!!!!!!!