last night.....

I'm just rolling in my sorrow and pain
All my efforts are going in vain
If i'm nice that's the problem
If i'm bad....well that's an option
My heart's a one way track
And it's colour...well it's black
My soul is dying
Hopes are lying
Why am i feeling so depressed
All my dreams ar supressed
By the lack of possibilities
My hopes ar lying in probabilities
So may my dreams rest in peace.....

at night.....

Lying in this dark room
Happiness is further then the moon
I rolled the dice
This life is harsher then ice
I want to do so many things
But i'm running out of time
Did i commit so many sins?
I feel like my inside is sublime
But i can't show it
People don't deserve it
I'm living in the wrong decade
I got nothing to dedicate to
And my spirit feels that too
So i'm the disappointment of the decade....

broken....

Split personality u have heard that
But three in me...can u believe that?
Maybe i'm just mentally sick
That would be an explanation
That's why my heart's a brick?
This needs more exploration
But i don't want to
It's fine being broken
My heart's nothing more then a token...

Contrast

First cigar in the morning
The sun is coming and going
It's a gray day
A crow is flying away
It's as black as my soul now
Everybody is blind now
They only see emptiness and useless happiness
It's a coursing and a bless
My emotional universe is just a mess
It's made out of hate more ore less
There is just no place for happiness
So we are living tough times now
I wonder what The Rasta would say now
Colourful spirits turned gray
Everybody follows the same way
So what can i bring
To the world thats suffering..

Hearts choice

My heart is so childish
U are my one and only whys
I need to wait for your choice
I need to hear your voice
Like Bonnie and Clyde
Like a tornado and a volcano
U have such an attitude
I just love the way u are....what can i do
U are so stubborn and wild
Sometimes your like a child
I'm the same but in another way
I can't resist u
U are doing everything in your own way
I'm telling you....i'm going crazy without u.....

why?

Why is my heart betraying me?
Always looking for ways of hurting me
What's the point in this self destruction?
Why are my feelings chasing an illusion?
Why do i suffer this much
I guess i'm evil....but this much??
I can't imagine myself gettin' old
So i have to cherish every moment as gold
My body feels the strain
Death is coming like a train
And i think it's not gonna be late
So i'm doing my share of loving and hate
I don't care about hurting people
My heart is beatin up...i can't find it's purpose
It's useless and it complicates things
So i guess i don't need it
I think i'm gonna get rid of it
And see what life brings..

Torn

Torn between a couple of worlds
Trying to poure it in a couple of words
This wolf inside a pack deep in the woods
That eagle surfing on hurricane winds
This heart fighting open wounds
Tell me which path from these words
That's closest to your inner wounds
Tell me do u understand my words
Torn are my worlds
Torn are my healing wounds
Tell me do u believe these words?
Tell me...are u the prisoner of your own words?

sunshine

I caught myself smiling
Because the sun was shining
I just closed my eyes and took a smoke
And realized that my dreams faded away just like that smoke
It felt good being alone
True love.....well i will have none
Why is life so complicated?
Even when everything good just faded
We just keep on trying
Until we are dying
And then we just realize
That dust will remain of what we have realized
I'm sorry for being so negative
But my outlook on the future isn't so positive
I'm tired of loosing the battle
Life is just a big gamble
If u bluff or fold
U can't avoid gettin' old
And then u loose your intrest
In all things in that u did invest
So why get old and miserable
When u can try,and gamble
So flip that coin
And watch where u goin'

transformation

Sometimes my heart is flooded whit pain
So harsh that i barely can keep it in
I'm fighting it by transforming it
Into pure anger you would not believe it
It consumes me day by day flood by flood
This society fuels my anger lie by lie crush by crush
My heart collides whit my personality
This is just natures stupidity
Or is this the cause of society
Strange things calm my anger and spirit
From fueling my anger all the way to adrenaline
Small things build up my spirit
But combined they are like amfetamine
And i'm wondering why i never change
My core stays the same while the surroundings change
Completing my lines while gazing at stars
Wondering why i'm so cold and harsh....

Stars

I only have one life and i wasted most of it
Not one cloud in the sky......why do stars calm my spirit
I started my journey that will take me to them
They where some moments when i felt close to them
But i knew that it wasen't the right moment
I feel a rush when i get close to them
That would scare off anyone who would feel it
I'm looking for my saving star,but shes fading i feel it....

fighting whit my parents and shit
knowing that my life will turn out shit
not trusting myself
ore anybody else
my dreams are ruined and then some
wondering if i ever have a son
falling in love to easily
wondering how wrong i could be
my life is so fucked up i can't believe it
i'm going down i can feel it
suicidel...i've tried it
but i could not make it
i'm a coward i know it
please don't consider it
sometimes i wish i could just vanish
but that's way hard to accomplish
i wish i would be dead
but that's not a threat
what is more serious is that
i'm a THREAT
i'm getin' could
like my soul is sould
i'm getin' confused by my own lines
like my heart has it's own life
it doesen't care about ratio ore pain
it just wants love in my vane
i don't know if i'm ready for death
but i feel it closer then a breath
i'm sick and tired of all this shit
i just want to get out of this
i don't care about love and all that shit
i just want to get over this shit
i just want to seize to exist

still......

Smokin' like usual feeling unusual
My life speeds up while i'm in neutral
Starting to realize dreams aren't get realized
I'm tryin' to keep it true but thats hard to take trough
But how could i keep it true when my dreams aren't gettin' true
That's what i realized in the start of my fucked up life
I'm 20 know whit one tattoo
I want to get more before i'm 22
My parents don't know it and they wouldn't agree
Because they raised me right,wel i not agree
My father wasn't there and my mom was too busy
So i went out got beatin up by bullies
Wel that's what ur gettin raisin' up in da streets
Streets gave me love trying to teach me
Guess they did wel considering where i'l be
Enjoyed being a thug,having a family
But my dreams say i should act differently
I've spent so much time just spreading  my knowledge
And now the world pushes me to a ledge
To see if i swim ore sink and i'm right on the edge
And i start to realize that i might not have the edge......

I'm feeling down and depressed
like death will be my one and only succese
many people lived with succese
but not many died with succese
we need to live for the moment
and die for a cause
otherwise our existence is false
i'm rhyming my pain because shits hard to take
from a life that gives u just sorrow and pain
love is ment to save us
i dissagree because love puts u in phases like me
fake people fill the world like a disease
God make me the antidote so i can stop this frenzi
fake people dissrespecting the true
we're loosing the battle i know this is crued
ghetto still alive
but were dying in it
and we still don't have no one to tell it
i'm completing my line so fuck of i've done it!!!!!!!!!